Saturday, June 14, 2014

My life as an addict

    I would like to tell you what it is like to be an addict.  I have been thinking about this for some time and I felt that I should write about it.  bluey and I have been watching the show Elementary which is a new take of the Sherlock Holmes stories.  It is not the BBC show Sherlock but it is a very good show to watch.  The first thing we learn about Sherlock is that he just got out of rehab for doing hard drugs and Watson has been hired by his father to be his sober companion.  One of the plot points in the show is that Watson is trying to keep Sherlock from going back into addiction.  I am talking about the show because I like how they show Sherlock trying to beat his addiction and the work that it takes for him to get over it. It is the great Sherlock Holmes (who is not a real person, I know) and what he has to go through to be able to live life in a mostly normal way, for him at least.
   We hear from people all the time that they are addicted to something.  They are doing it all the time or they just really love it and that is the only thing that they will buy in a way.  Well that is not really addiction, it is the start.  What it means to be addicted to something is that something is controlling your life.  You are thinking about it almost all of the time.  It will come into your thoughts with just the littlest of hints, ideas, anything.  You dream about it both at night and in the day.  When you do give into it, it is the greatest thing in your life at that time.  That is all you are thinking about then, that is all you want to do.  Having other things to do does not matter, you will get to them later.  Well that later can end up being 1 or 2 hours away, heck it can even be 5 or 6 hours away for all you care, at that point you just want to fill that desire.  Only the desire never goes away, yes it might lessen for a time but it will always come back and you will need to fulfill it again and it is down hill again for you.  You might even want to stop and you might even try a few times but it is always in the back of your head and you will always have thoughts about it.  Addiction is the hardest thing to runaway from, it controls your life.  I say this because as I said I am an addict and will always be one.
    There is a reason why we are told by the Church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) that we need to stay away from addictive behaviors.  Some of them are for health reasons but not all things can be bad for your health.  Smoking, drinking, drugs (legal or illegal), pornography (of any kind), gaming, caffeine, gambling,  anything that can take control of your life.  Yes I did say gaming but when I do I am meaning electronic gaming, computer or system.  It can be addictive and it can be bad for your.  So when something takes away your ability to choose with a clear head it is not good for you, no matter how good it is that 90% of the time.  When it has gotten to that point you need to become sober from it and change your life.  If you don't you might not end up dead but you really won't be living either.  You don't have a life you are just there going through the motions and all that matters is when you will be able to fulfill the desire.  THAT IS NOT LIVING! I know because I am trying to live not just be there going through the motions.  When you live life is much better.

-Smals

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